Cool Girl

His eyes scanned the room as he walked into the dimly lit bar and his vision landed on her. She sat across the bartender, laughing with her friends while sipping on a cocktail, her leather jacket draped over the stool beside her. Her cropped short hair was tousled in a way that made her look rebellious but at the same time, framed her delicate features. Meanwhile, a small silver hoop adorned her nose.

He decided to approach the bar, slowly making his way over to her but trying not to seem too eager nor desperate. He sat beside her, ordered a drink, and instead of striking up a conversation, started to listen in. He observed that she spoke with confidence, wit, and charm, her words carrying a hint of sarcasm and humor, never once seeming to take herself too seriously.

Above all, he admired the way she carried herself with a shade of lustful wantonness, the way her long legs hung from her thighs of sinewy beauty, and the way she dressed in a manner that accentuated her every curve. Her sense of style was impeccable, and soon enough he found himself imagining her naked in his bed. At last, he thought to himself, “she’s a cool girl.”

You could say it is men’s defining compliment, “She’s a cool girl.” The concept of a “Cool Girl” is a myth which has become ever-present in our culture and has been perpetuated by men in society longer than we can imagine. So what exactly does it mean to be a “cool girl”?

The cool girl is, as defined by men in countless ways, the ultimate woman. She is low maintenance, sexually adventurous, and above all, easy to please but not easily offended. A cool girl is someone who can effortlessly transition from being “one of the guys” to being the object of their desire. Men can mold the cool girl to fit their needs and desires, and she’d let it, and love it. A cool girl is someone who is agreeable and accommodating, and does not care much of her own personal wants and needs. She is a perfect woman, willing to put up with anything and everything just to maintain her partner's affection and attention.

Nevermind that the concept of a “Cool Girl” reinforces gender stereotypes and encourages women to downplay their emotions and needs in order to be accepted by men. After all, who are we to dictate men to recognize the inherent values in women?

Nevermind that it places an unfair burden on women to conform to an impossible standard and constantly perform a certain persona in order to be considered desirable. After all, who are we to bid men to broaden their definition of what makes a woman attractive?

Nevermind that the cool girl myth is a mere social construct and that there is no one-size-fits-all definition of what it means to be a woman. After all, who are we to behest men to work towards creating a more equitable and inclusive society that values and respects women as individuals?

With these, one must ask: do we value women for their individuality and strengths, or do we simply and casually reduce them to a narrow, one-dimensional caricature based on societal expectations of what men find desirable?